I frequently get asked about MEDITATION.
Meditation can provide a few minutes of tranquility in a world that almost seems like it is designed by people who want to keep us in a constant state of anxiety. Anyone can meditate. You don’t have to be a 268 year old Asian master. Meditation is for everyone!

The first hurdle to overcome in learning to meditate is a simple one: you will fail. All your life your mind has been hard at work, telling you how to live, who to love, what you need to buy so you can feel successful. Many highly paid advertising people make a damn good living by invading your mind; playing on your ambitions and desires… inflaming our natural tendencies just to keep us in a constant state of craving. 

Old Zen Saying“The mind makes a wonderful servant,
but a terrible master”

Meditation will quiet your mind, and I assure you that your mind will not like that! Since not long after your birth, the mind has run on overdrive, trying to figure out what those huge giant people want from you. In turn, those huge giant people will fill your mind with what they think you should be.

The mind will rebel and interrupt when you first try to meditate. Occult masters call those interruptions: BREAKS. When they begin meditating they will write down the breaks. As they go on with the practice, they soon note that the breaks get farther and farther apart. With practice breaks can disappear altogether! So if you get distracted, do not feel defeated. This is normal. It will go away in time.

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An advantage we of the modern world have over past meditators is The Recorded Guided Meditation. We can pop these into an iPod or similar device and lay back, with earbuds, and follow the lead of the narrator. I remember using cassette tapes in the 1970s, with big bulky headphones. The modern digital player has this beat by miles! When I look at Aleister Crowley’s magickal record of “breaks” from the early 20th Century, I always wonder what new heights he could have attained with a simple MP3 player!

I have found a few fascinating Guided Mediations over the years. Meditations for Astral Projection… Past Life Regression… For use with a Magick Mirror… you name it! Here are a couple that I can send you if you like. They come on a Compact Disc and from there you can easily slap them into your own player. If you should fall asleep during the meditation… GOOD! Let it happen. Don’t fight it.



Simply put, our Chakras are power centers in the body. These centers can benefit from cleansing, what with all the negative energy in the world around us. And as the Chakras benefit, so does our mental and physical condition. Here is a simple Cleansing/Activation meditation that works wonders. Worth noting: This meditation starts with the lower Chakras and works up. This is of extreme importance, as many people will start at the top and work down – meaning they open the Third Eye/Forehead Chakra before opening the Heart Chakra. This results in a person over-intellectualizing; placing too much power into the mind and not enough in the heart. 

Chakra Meditation

The Shemp
Meditation Tapes
Volumes 1&2
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Meditation need not be a serious, somber thing! As this meditation shows…
Now available on CD, this has been around since the days of those 70s Cassettes I mentioned above. From the original description:
Recommended for new age nitwits and chuckleheads alike…. scientifically mixed in Shemp-A-Rama for your enlightened casaba-banging pleasure…. Soar through the Horwitz heavens and become one with Shemp’s karma on the Heee Beee Beee Beee Track…Then transhempify your mind and cook your Chakras with the life-infirming Ahh Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Track

This 2 CD Set includes Shemp Meditation Volumes 1 &2:
Heee Beee Beee Beee Track…
Ahh Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Track…
Pain Track…

Sleep Track

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